Saturday, October 9, 2010

Oh Satan, Where Art Thou?

Oh Satan, where art thou? Why can't I find you? Are you hiding in this bush? Are you waiting for me under the stairs? You promised that I would be in your power, but I cannot find you.

I remember going though the temple ceremony and watching as the actor portraying Lucifer / Satan turned and looked at me eye to eye. He was speaking to everyone in the room with me when he said, "I have a word to say concerning these people. If they do not walk up to every covenant they make at these altars in this temple this day, they will be in my power!" Did he just personally threaten me? Do I need to come up there and kick some Satan ass?

Well, here I am Satan. I have officially resigned from the Mormon Church and I am still here, so where are you? You told me in the temple that I would be in your power and yet I cannot find you. I am out of the church and yet I still feel the same as if I were in the church. I do not have evil spirits surrounding me and I do not live afraid.

I find it interesting that the Mormon Church places so much emphasis on "The Adversary" as if he is just waiting in the shadows to get you. The church teaches that those people who leave the church are under the influence of Satan and are led into evil ways. They are unhappy and bound down with chains. I do not feel this way. I am happy (for the most part) and I am glad to be living a more authentic life. I can be the real me without feeling as if I need to get church approval first about what I think or do.

I have not encountered Satan, nor do I feel like I have evil spirits influencing me. It is like when I was praying about the truthfulness of the Mormon Church and the Book of Mormon. I prayed so hard and for months hoping for an answer. I pled with god to give me something of a feeling. Just let me know that you are there and that I can follow your church.

Nothing. I got nothing. No answer. No feeling. No spiritual witness. No revelation. Really? You don't care enough to tell me that you care, god? So that was it, that was my answer. Satan said he would come get me if I left and yet I have not heard from him either. I walked away from the temple and the covenants that I made, but he has not shown up yet. He must be a pretty good hider.

Oh Satan, where art thou?

8 comments:

  1. This is awesome. Realizing that Satan was pure mythology was truly liberating. Either that or we're just not important enough for God and Satan to waste their time on. Yay! I love not being special.

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  2. He's in your coffee, in your beer in the anti-mormon text you read. You are absorbing him every day, soon you will become him! That is why your TBM friends and family can't see/talk to you! YOU ARE SATAN!

    Joking. I know nothing about LDS. That's my poorly formed stereotypical opinion based on some light reading of blogs.

    I can't believe when you go to temple you get your own private play!

    (I make me laugh)

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  3. Love the post! Satan is really given a lot of power. It is a bit shocking that a loving god would allow his kids to be tormented by Satan. It never made sense to me as a believer.

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  4. The answer is obvious, you can't tell that you are under the influence of Satan. You'll just have to take his word for it, lol!

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  5. :: chuckles ::

    Isn't it liberating to be free from fear of the religious boogey-man, Satan?

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  6. :)

    i challenged satan while camping in hawaii in the forest where they filmed Lost. i was told that ghosts were seen there by the stream often. i was alone there at night and the wind made for some crazy noises and quasi-hallucinations but no ghosts/demons. i even demanded they show themselves with the power of my priesthood. haha

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  7. Fear and guilt = great motivators. :-/

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  8. lol - time to beat some Satan ass.

    funny how ex-mo's are such a cautionary tale when so many seem so very happy and content with their choices.

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