Thursday, August 19, 2010

I told my parents and it wasn't too bad

I would like to thank Kiley and Maureen for their advice of telling my parents about my family’s resignation. I decided to take their advice and send my parents an email. I sent them an email telling them that if they wanted to talk to me about it, I would be willing to do so, but if they did not want to talk, I would understand.

After sending the email, I waited to see if I would hear from them. After a couple of days, still no response. Blondie and I listened to a podcast by John Dehlin that she found recently. Here is the link,

I found this podcast very informative and exactly what I wanted my parents to hear. I decided to send them an additional email with the link to this podcast. I did receive a response from them after this email; they indicated that they would like to talk on the phone.

I spoke to them last night and found that they were quite pleasant on the phone. We talked about various items and I was beginning to wonder if they were going to bring the whole church subject. Eventually, I brought up the church so we could address the pressing subject at hand. Surprisingly, they were pretty reasonable and did not lay a lot of guilt or hurt feelings on me. They had one main request of me; they do not like seeing any critical comments about the church on Facebook and would like me to stop posting those. I found this interesting since I already feel like I have been censoring myself. Oh well, I guess I will re-double my censoring efforts on Facebook and just let out my real feelings on my blog instead. My parents are not aware of my blog so I can basically say whatever I want here.

Overall, I found this to be a positive experience. I am glad that I am the one that told them about our resignation instead of them finding out by accident. I hope that my relationship with my parents will start to stabilize and we can move into new phase of our lives. They want to be happy in the church and I want to be happy out of the church. Let’s all be happy together; I hope that we can be.


  1. Your facebook is pretty tame... I wonder what they are talking about? If you go through and group your friends you can set up filters so that some groups can only see certain things. I used to use filters a lot. Now I just don't care as much.

    I am glad that the conversation went well! That is great!

  2. Thanks Kiley. I am just happy that I am done with that conversation. They know where we are at and there is no need to hide anything. Taking these difficult steps is quite freeing for us.

  3. Glad it wasn't too bad for you. I emailed my parents about my leaving the Church three years ago. They never responded. We never talk about it. It's like it never happened. Whatever. At least it's peaceful.

  4. So glad it went well Bowie. I came across that link soon after leaving and sent it to my MIL. She didn't get the point because she started doing a whole bunch of the stuff that Dehlin suggests members don't do, like invalidate our choices and tell us we "still know". That might be why I didn't think of passing it on to anyone else, kind of backfired on us.

    Wow Leah, that is so odd to me. I'd be thinking, maybe they never got the email. I'm very impatient too and I'd be wanting to know what they thought. I admire your ability to put it out there and then move on!

  5. Well... my parents don't respond to much. They're very uninvolved. We pretty much raised ourselves.