Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The big visit with our bishop

Tonight was the night that we have been waiting for; our bishop called me up and asked if he could come by to visit. We knew exactly why he was calling; our letter had been forwarded to him and he wanted to meet with us about it. We were more than willing to have him come to our house; we really did not want to meet with him in the bishop’s office.

Our bishop is a really cool guy. He grew up as a Utah dairy farmer and he is very down to earth and friendly. His visit was actually very pleasant. We talked for a while about various normal things such as home improvements and living in the neighborhood. Blondie says that I talk too much, but I like to be friendly when people come to visit.

He eventually brought up the letter that we had sent in. He asked Blondie if she had copied it from the Internet. She confirmed that she had written the letter herself, using example letters from the Internet as a guide. I think he asked about this because we had hit all of the major points in the letter that are normally counseled upon and was probably surprised that we covered them all. He asked about the 30-day waiting period and we explained that we had already put a lot of thought into this and that this was not a knee-jerk reaction. We explained that another 30 days would not change our minds. He complimented us on taking our time with this and not rushing into it.

We explained that we have informed our families of where we stand with the church. They know that we do not believe. He acknowledged the fact that we indicated in our letter that we know of the ramifications of resigning. He made sure to say, “It will be as if you were never baptized and confirmed, never received the priesthood, and never married in the temple.” We responded letting him know that we were well aware of this.

I wanted to make sure that he knew that we were not offended with anyone in the ward and not upset with them in any way. He asked if he could inform the leaders of the ward about our resignation and we told him that would be fine. He also asked if we wanted any contact from the ward. We explained that we do not want home teachers or visiting teachers or primary activities, but if someone wants to visit with us as a friend or neighbor, we are perfectly fine with that. He said that he might come by and visit occasionally and we were fine with that.

Our visit ended very pleasantly, he told us that he would waive the 30-day waiting period and expedite our letter. We really could not have asked for a more calm and relaxed visit. Blondie and I are happy to know that this process is moving along and we will receive a confirmation letter from the church in the near future.

Monday, August 23, 2010

I likes me the Deadmau5

Have you heard of Deadmau5? This guy is incredible. My friend got me turned onto him just recently. His music is all techno / electronica and I think it is some amazing stuff. Here’s some videos with great music and amazing visuals. His trademark is the dead mouse head that he wears. The first 4 videos are live performance with his mind blowing light show and visuals. Since these live recordings never give justice to the actual music, the last video is one of his studio recordings.

Looks like the videos don't fit my blog layout too well. Sorry about that.


So what do ya think? Crazy shit? Mesmerizing? When I listen to this stuff, I can't help but start dancing around.

Here is some extra info on Deadmau5 from MTV.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I told my parents and it wasn't too bad

I would like to thank Kiley and Maureen for their advice of telling my parents about my family’s resignation. I decided to take their advice and send my parents an email. I sent them an email telling them that if they wanted to talk to me about it, I would be willing to do so, but if they did not want to talk, I would understand.

After sending the email, I waited to see if I would hear from them. After a couple of days, still no response. Blondie and I listened to a podcast by John Dehlin that she found recently. Here is the link, http://mormonstories.org/whytheyleave/

I found this podcast very informative and exactly what I wanted my parents to hear. I decided to send them an additional email with the link to this podcast. I did receive a response from them after this email; they indicated that they would like to talk on the phone.

I spoke to them last night and found that they were quite pleasant on the phone. We talked about various items and I was beginning to wonder if they were going to bring the whole church subject. Eventually, I brought up the church so we could address the pressing subject at hand. Surprisingly, they were pretty reasonable and did not lay a lot of guilt or hurt feelings on me. They had one main request of me; they do not like seeing any critical comments about the church on Facebook and would like me to stop posting those. I found this interesting since I already feel like I have been censoring myself. Oh well, I guess I will re-double my censoring efforts on Facebook and just let out my real feelings on my blog instead. My parents are not aware of my blog so I can basically say whatever I want here.

Overall, I found this to be a positive experience. I am glad that I am the one that told them about our resignation instead of them finding out by accident. I hope that my relationship with my parents will start to stabilize and we can move into new phase of our lives. They want to be happy in the church and I want to be happy out of the church. Let’s all be happy together; I hope that we can be.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

How should I tell my parents about resigning?

Okay, well some interesting developments have happened recently. Blondie and I have submitted our resignation letter to the church. We have received a correspondence from the church and you can see the results of that here.

This brings up some hard questions concerning my parents. We have not told them yet that we have submitted our resignation letter. From everything that I have heard, they will most likely find out when they have their tithing settlement at the end of this year since the tithing statement will show all of their children along with their member record number. In my case, it will probably say something like Member – no.

I have started to wonder how they will react to this. I am sure that they will be crushed once more after coming to the knowledge that I am officially out of their “true” church. We are making plans on going down to Arizona to visit them between Christmas and New Years. I am getting the feeling that it may not be a very pleasant visit if they find out about us right before we come down.

Here is an interesting twist on this situation. My brother is in Afghanistan and he will be coming home at the end of this month. He and his family currently live in Ohio. I had the chance to chat with him online last night and I told him about our letter. He was surprised, but supportive knowing that this will be the best for my family. He also surprised me by saying that they are planning on also coming to Utah and Arizona to visit with family members and our parents. I was very excited about this because this would mean that my family and I would not be visiting my parents on our own, my brother and his family would be there also. Extra family support is always good.

So here is the new situation that I have been thinking about today. If my parents find out about our resignation right before we all come down to visit, I will have once again ruined their happiness of visiting with my brother and his family. This happened last year when I sent them my letter telling them my feelings about the church right before my brother came to visit. I did not want to tell them right before he came to visit, but I was kind of cornered into telling them since they wanted my brother and I to give my dad a blessing. I was not comfortable with faking a blessing so I sent them the letter. They blamed me for ruining the visit. I really do not want to repeat this and I am envisioning that this could happen again.

The thought hit me today of how I might resolve this situation before everything hits the fan. What if I sent them a letter now telling them that we have resigned from the church? Of course, they will still be hurt and feel really bad, there is just no way of getting around that. The good thing would be that they would have time to recover from the shock and prepare for our visit along with my brother’s visit later in the year. The other good thing is that they would hear it from me and not find out second hand from some random bishop’s visit.

What do you think? Do you think this would be a good idea? Has anyone else had experience with telling his or her parents or family members about officially resigning from the church? I would love to hear what you have to say.